A guy comes in to the library.
Him: Do you have The Da Vinci Code?
Me: I think there's a copy in, let me check.
Him: I bet that you don't. I bet that you own 40 copies and they're all checked out.
Me: (silently) Boy, did you ever miss the DVC train, buddy. That book is so over.
Me: (aloud) Mmmm. Maybe. Oh, there should be a copy in. Let me check the shelf.
Him: It should be under B, for Brown.
Me: (silently fuming) Oh. My. God. I hate you. Number one, how could I work in a library and not know that? Number two, if I just looked it up in the fricking computer, shouldn't I know who the author is? Number three, if you knew where it should be on the shelf, WHY DIDN'T YOU LOOK FOR IT YOURSELF, YOU LAZY BASTARD?!