- Errr... I wouldn't call most of these YA. Encyclopedia Freaking Brown*? That's right up there with Amelia Bedelia.
- Take a free course in SF/F.
- R.L. Stine's Goosebumps has been around for twenty years: "I don't get zombies. I recently wrote a Goosebumpscalled Why I Quit Zombie School; he's enrolled in the wrong school so has to pretend to be one. But I didn't write zombie books because as a character, they're so unsophisticated; they just stagger forward and try to eat people, and you just hit them with a shovel or shoot them. There's so little you can do with them as an author."
- Oh, Sherman Alexie. You are fabulous. "First of all, I want to chastise the reporters, Peggy Aulisio and Ann Bowdan, for reporting such untruths without bothering, you know, to read my book."
- Rats. "If you scatter commas into a sentence with all the discrimination of a shotgun, you might make it to the foyer before we politely escort you from the building."
*RIP, Donald Sobol.