Chosen: House of Night, #3 -- P.C. and Kristin Cast

Chosen Okay, so in Chosen, Zoey's got problems because she has three boyfriends, her best friend Stevie Ray is an undead monster and the head of House of Night (her vampyre finishing school) is an evil beeyotch.  Zoey has just discovered that Aphrodite, her sworn enemy, now has an affinity for earth, which means that she has to let her back into the Dark Daughters group in Stevie Ray's place, even though everyone hates Aphrodite.  And also, no one knows that the aforementioned evil beeyotch IS an evil beeyotch EXCEPT Zoey and Aphrodite and they can't tell anyone because they don't want to tip their hand.

Teaming up with your sworn enemy can be tough.

Improvements from last time:

Zoey has mostly stopped referring to her "exotic Cherokee looks" on every other page.

Stevie Ray's story arc is decent.

Problems:

The pop culture references continue to be dated.  The book came out this year and... Sean William Scott?  Really?  Hardly anyone knows or cares about him now.  Just imagine how this'll read in five years.

The term "popped cherry" was used.  Okay, I'm sorry, but gross.  And does anyone even say that anymore?  Even grosser, it was an adult who said it.

Every single time Zoey mentioned the fact that she had three boyfriends (and there were many times), she called herself a "ho-bag".  Zoey:  Either revel in it or dump two of them.  It's not that hard.  Or at least deal with the self loathing and guilt and move on.  Please, please, please, please, please don't moan about how much of a "ho" you are for pages and then go hump someone.  It's REALLY ANNOYING.

Okay, speaking of the three boyfriends:  One of them is your childhood friend who you keep accidentally biting... so you should probably dump him.  One of them is the most milquetoast vampire in the entire history of vampires and I am INCLUDING Anne Rice's Louis AND that kid from that episode of Buffy who just dressed up as a vampire and wanted to be called Diego... so you should probably dump him, too, because he's boringer than boring with a side of boring.  And thirdly, we have your teacher.  Do I even need to explain myself here?  Gross.  Just... gross.

If I, the heathen, find it semi-offensive that the only Christians in this series are complete lunatic bigot freaks, I can't imagine how someone who was actually remotely religious would feel while reading it.

Typos galore.

Zoey's friend Damien continues to wow their clique with his amazing grasp of two-syllable words.  It's his THING.  His boyfriend, Jack Twist, stands out because he's Damien's boyfriend.  That's his THING.  And her other friends, the Twins, also have a THING.  Actually, two:  finishing sentences for each other and lusting after every male that moves.  So, yeah.  Zoey's friends continue to be a group of incredibly multi-faceted and three-dimensional characters. 

Lastly, Zoey is an IDIOT.  I can't go into my reasons due to huge spoilers, but she is, I'm sorry, just dumb.  I dislike her intensely. 

And yet, I really want to know what happens next, in a let's-look-at-the-train-wreck sort of way.  I don't know what is wrong with me.

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Previously:

1.  Marked