Eclipse: Twilight, #3 -- Stephenie Meyer

The Short Version:

Dear Bella,

DUMP THEM BOTH. Also, stop whining. It's unattractive.

Thanks,
Leila

The (Slightly) Longer Version:

Seventy-five pages of entertainment does not counteract five hundred and twenty-five pages of guilt-ridden moaning. 

I have reached the point where I really don't understand why ANYONE is in love with Bella, let alone practically every male in the Forks area.

I'd rather read Jacob/Edward fan fiction. 

Bah! BAH!!!