Humiliating phone call.
Me: Hi there, this is Leila calling from the Kennebunk Library. I just wanted to let you know that I have Contempt for you.
Patron: You DO???
Me: ... ... ... Yes. Wait, NO! I mean the book!
Patron: <laughing> Yes, I know, dear.
Me: I bet you think you're pretty smart, don't you?
Patron: <laughing> Yes.