Decapitation contest - the winner.

Sorry that this is late, guys.  I forgot about the holiday weekend.  I had a hard time this time around, but I'm awarding the prize to Steve for this haiku:

the first crocus of
spring pressing upwards through snow;
look out for that head.

Something about the combination of traditional haiku and hilariousness just struck me.  Good one.

You'll shortly be receiving a copy of Patrick McCabe's The Butcher Boy in the mail.